Confidence gone

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Confidence gone

I am an older lady playing at C level and just enjoying the game at my age (playing about 4 years all year round).

My ladies team won our division and moved up a bit in our league (we are still C level, 3.0- to 3.0 players. Since moving up, I have not won a match (5 lost in a row). Some were good matches that went to 3 sets, others not so good.

I had 4 different partners this season because we added some new people to the team due to injuries/availability. I have lost total confidence in my game now.

I practice several times a week, take lots of lessons, etc. Sometimes this season, I know I made unforced errors but several of the matches, I was very consistent and still we didn't end up winning the point and the match.

I am feeling very frustrated and need a pep talk!!!! I want to keep playing into old age but am thinking maybe I need a new activity. :(

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Confidence gone

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Apr 20, 2009
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Think ahead
by: Anonymous

Hello - I am a High School tennis coach who deals with this problem on a regular basis. I have players who challenge up, win a higher spot, then start losing at their new position. This in turn starts a vicious cycle. here is what I tell my players:
1. Stop thinking about the match you just played - that one is in the books, think about the match you are in now.
2. Stop second guessing your play,you will always have some of those "what was I doing" shots in a match - shake them off - play the point you are in.
3. Do not get frustrated and go for the kill shot on every point - your percentage goes way down.

Apr 20, 2009
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enjoy
by: Anonymous

While winning can be more fun the losing, attaching too much emotion or importance to that will take the fun out of playing if you find yourself on a "losing streak"! This happened to me recently but I had been playing tougher opponents and had close and competitive matches even if sometimes the score didn't reflect this.

The point was I was getting down on myself and felt like giving up the sport altogether. But this is silly because we really play for enjoyment. To build up my confidence I played with opponents whom I'd had a winning record against. I went out and won a few matches and it was a boost to my confidence. But the most important thing is to remember to enjoy being out there and playing. You will have more fun either way weather you win or lose. Usually the winner of a match is having a little more fun than the loser. And if they are not... well then they're missing the point!

Use every chance the ball comes to you as a chance to enjoy being out there and hitting it! It will help you relax and play better tennis and it may just help you win in the process!

Apr 20, 2009
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hit the ball..
by: Franklin

Winning or losing is not the point.. unless you think it is... according to the "law of attraction" (see the book "the Secret") if you worry about losing and that's what you think about that's what you'll attract... so don't think about winning or losing ... just hit the ball ... THAT's what makes tennis fun... hitting that little yellow ball if it stays in all the better but just hit it and enjoy...

Franklin

Apr 20, 2009
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Losing Your Confidence?
by: GL

Take a look at the three comments below. They you the term "losing." I have coached tennis for some time and noticed a lot of people refer to losing and a lack of confidence in the same breath. Its natural to think that way after all since we started competing, we have always thought of outcome in terms of "win" or "lose"

I try to develop a differnt mindset. I tell them that there is a lot to learn and that while they may not always win, they never lose. Let me repeat that "you never lose, you just didn't win." You don't lose if you a) had fun b) learned something about your game or your opponent's game c) did not quit and have the will to go on and keep working on the tennis game.

Lose at tennis? There is only one time that anyone ever loses at anything and that is when you quit. Smile that tennis game is forever!

Apr 20, 2009
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What abilities do you need to be better?
by: Anonymous

I have been coaching for 35 years and mostly women.

This is a bis issue for women. Do I stay in my category and be the best one and win most of my matches or do I move up and improve my game by playing better players, more challenging games and not win all my matches.

Most players are frustrated because when they ''lose'' a match, they lose their self-esteem.
We have to always look foward and move one step at the times.

The best suggestion is: have a pro evalueate you and give you a feedback on the skills that you need the most in that category.

As an example: if you are a level 3.0 moving to level 3.5, can you serve at 70% on the backhand, can you finish your balls at the net, do you have 2 very return of serve, are you consistent etc...

Then, you should also have a feedback on your mental attitude and your physical abilities.

Most women players between 3.0 and 4.0 are not working enough on their physicial abilities and to much on technic. You have to be fast and be ready to receive the ball and not just sending the ball back....

What is the first skill you need to work on to be at their level? Then practise it and you will feel you are part of this level. Work and be patient.

Apr 20, 2009
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A Fix for Losing Your Confidence
by: Cheryl S.

Cheryl S. is one of my best students. I've been running a fun Tennis Clinic for 11 years. Cheryl is, from what you say, about your same age. Two seasons ago she was a 2.0. She was said to be by her teammates "the most improved" last year. She was bumped up to 3.0 by the USTA computer. She and her teammates have been losing more matches than winning. Here is what Ceryl said in response to your situation:
"Don't even think about giving up tennis! You are letting your confidence be shaken by a few random matches that won't mean anything to anybody by the end of the summer. That's the great thing about tennis. If you miss a shot, you get another one, a game, there's always another one. Get beat by someone this week, beat them next week. It's just a game. Relax and enjoy hitting the ball. Be sure to get out and play just for fun with friends. I enjoy that far more than league play and I never feel bad about myself after a friendly game, whether I win or lose. I hope you get out of your slump soon, but no matter what, don't toss your racket out. I guarantee you'll miss tennis if you give it up."

All of the comments that have been submitted have some good points (no pun intended), however Cheryl's response comes from someone who has lived your experience. Hang in there, and realize the fun.

Apr 22, 2009
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Confidence gone!
by: gil

I am a 71-year old male player. Some days when few players are on the court, I play singles too. I win some, I lose more. But I get the kick out of my being able to play strategies still and perspiring heavily. I guess it is how you take pleasure from your game. Of course, everybody wants to win every time, but that is improbable. Even the pros have bad days. Besides, doubles means you have a partner. Perhaps you have to talk to your partner about strategy to somehow be a nuisance to the "game" of your opponents and frustrate it. Then impose control of the match as they get annoyed. Relish the good points of your game. Good luck!

Apr 23, 2009
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Need to take a breather..
by: Anonymous

I'd suggest you take a break from the practice sessions. Sometimes you practice so much your level of play starts to decline and then you lose confidence in yourself. Take in some other activities and then come straight back to it. After about a week or two of not fully engrossing yourself in tennis you can start by playing a match against someone in your club (who you were able to beat from before) and start building your confidence again from there

Apr 24, 2009
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Hope you don't give up
by: Anonymous

What did you like most about winning? Did you feel superior? Did you feel powerful? Think of a person who believes he is "tall" because he is 6 feet and all his friends are shorter. He will feel short if he starts hanging out with professional basketball players. But he is still the same size. His comparison group has changed.
Your competition is currently beating you, but you may be gaining skills through being challenged. Will you be downgraded if you don't win any matches? Will you then start winning?
It's kind of weird, but many people only want to play with opponents who are much better. They feel that this will challenge them and improve their level. Now you are getting this opportunity, although you don't like it.
What do you like about tennis? I hope you don't quit. Consider joining a group at a lower skill level instead of quitting, if you like to play and feel you must win. Or think of Vince Spadea who lost 14 times in a row, I think. Or Donald Young who was a start junior and lost consistently after he turned pro and played at a higher level. Best wishes

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