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Handling a Close Match Loss

Hey Tomas!

I recently had a match. I lost 6-2, 3-6, 7-10. When the match was over, I couldn't believe it. The kid I played was unranked.

I keep on thinking on how I could have won and that nags me. This forces me to think negative thoughts like "You suck at tennis" or like "You should have won that match!" I get all cranky and it sometimes gets to a point where I can't sleep.

Plus, I have a goal on reaching the top 100s in my region by the end of summer. I feel like I have to win each match to get points and improve my ranking. Is my goal destroying me or helping me?

How can I change my mindset on this? This happens every time I lose a close match.

Thank you so much for your time and effort to help me become a tougher tennis player.

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Handling a Close Match Loss

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Jun 27, 2009
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starstarstarstarstar 		Could have but not should have
by: Tomaz

The "I could have won the match" is theoretically correct. Both of you play at the similar level so both outcomes are possible - win or lose.

For example, if you play now with Federer, then there's only outcome possible.

But "could have" only means, that it was possible for you to win a match. It doesn't mean that you can do anything about it now, because the match has happened and you cannot change the past.

In other words, you "couldn't have" won that match because you lost it.

What's important to realize is that even if you are ranked higher than your opponent, then it doesn't mean that your will ALWAYS win. You will only win a higher percentage of matches.

I know it's tough to swallow but in reality when you play opponent's of your level, you cannot be that much better (as you wish you would be).

You are only slightly better; if you play 10 matches, you may win 6 or 7. But definitely not all.

The opposite is then also true; you are not WORSE player just because you lost one match. And even of your head-to-head score is in your opponent's favor, then you are just slightly weaker than your opponent and just need to work on a few tiny things and you'll be there...

Check the head-to-head scores of top players on atpworldtour.com and see if there are any 10:0 scores when top players meet... There aren't...

The question of whether you should win the match on the other hand is totally wrong thinking.

You cannot control the score - the outcome - therefore you cannot guarantee a win. So thinking that you should win a match is unrealistic and that's why you feel pressure when you play.

You ask something from yourself which is impossible: to guarantee a win yet deep inside you realize that the outcome of the match is not guaranteed.

You need to see through this faulty thinking and let go of it. It's wrong, not true and not logical.

The only thing in your control is your effort. Focus of giving your best and then evaluate yourself based on that. If you have your best, then there's nothing more you can do.

The rest is sports (tennis) - an unpredictable game where you can only improve your chances of winning by giving your best.

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