Questions of Truth
How to Become Aware of Subconscious Truths

When we see that a player isn't doing something right and we »tell« them so, they usually defend and try to prove their point (for their ego's sake) or feel that something is wrong with them and lose faith in themselves.

Questions are more neutral than criticism and leave the decisions to the player. They also teach players to think.

Questions are also more appropriate than criticism, because what people need is awareness of what is going on, not scolding from others (which repeats parental behavior). Then we make our own choices.

Here are three strategic questions that draw out important truths. They are typically used by coaches, but players can ask themselves these questions as well.

1. Rate yourself from 1-to-10 on how much effort you put into this drill/exercise.

(Important: the only thing the player can control is effort, not outcome. Do not ask players to rate themselves on how well they played. They want to play well but are unable to play as well as they want because of the many challenges in tennis and the limitations of both body and mind.)

When they do rate themselves — even if maybe as low as, say, 6 — do not say "See, how bad you are!". That's just your opinion. Maybe they need to be »bad« for a few months to get sick of it and change for the better.

For example, remember Andre Agassi's story —– how his ranking plunged to 142 in the ATP, while he ate hamburgers and practiced maybe an hour or two per day, totally ignoring the fitness part of his game?

Andre needed that experience to realize how much he loves tennis, competing, and bringing joy and fun to spectators. Only when he got really sick of this »easy« way of life, did he decide to be the best that he could be by training to the best of his ability.

We all know the result. He won the French Open, became No.1 in the world and won all 4 Grand Slams.

2. Why do you think you lost this point?

Inexperienced players, and even players who seem experienced, rarely find the correct reason for losing a point. They usually lean toward one of two extremes: either they look for excuses or they lay all the blame on themselves (again mimicking parental behavior and "training").

With this question and subsequent questions, and guidance from the coach, they may see the real reasons. For example, a player may realize that:

• I didn't give enough effort.
• Tennis is a very challenging game, and it is impossible to hit every ball in.
• My opponent played exceptionally well.
• I made a tactical error.

The answer to the next question can be a real shocker, especially if you ask kids while their parents are listening. Here it is:

3. What do you want more; to win this point (or play the best you can) OR not to get tired?

Twice when I asked this question to kids whose parents invested lots of money to come to the academy, sacrificing their time and business, the kid answered honestly: »I don't want to get too tired.«

You can imagine the silence for a few seconds afterward.

The parents weren't the only ones shocked. The kid himself was. That's because the desire had been unconscious, so that when he was getting tired, he wouldn't run for the ball or take the extra step to set up properly.

I believe that the motivation for playing to the best of your ability (and, when younger, to win matches and beat other players and be number-something) must come from the player. Outside motivation from coaches or parents is just a waste of time and energy.

Yes, the player might eventually achieve something, but it won't even be close to what they could achieve if they were internally almost obsessively motivated.

And if they are not motivated in that way, then top tennis results are not what they REALLY want. Maybe they want to study chemistry. Or maybe they just want to lead a comfortable life going to a job, coming home, having a beer and watching TV.

In the end it's everyone's own choice, and that's what these questions help each player see — the truth.

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